Integrity = Being Your Word + Inner Guidance

Coming from a crazy family where people's minds changed like the weather, I adopted the policy of being true to my word no matter what. Even if the time came and I didn't feel like doing whatever I had agreed to, I kept my word and showed. I always wanted people to feel like they could count on me. I did not know I had huge underlying safety issues so I sought to enable people to feel safe with me. I figured, if they could count on me (my word), I could count on them. That should have equaled safe. Right?
Wrong!

Then I sought out learning experiences inside of paradigms where keeping your word equals integrity. For me, I felt I could finally feel secure knowing that I could trust what people said. After all, if I gave my word, I'd keep it. So, they must be the same. What was I thinking? People gave their word and made promises all the time. And they broke their word.

Things happened. What, I don't know. I never asked. I was not concerned with their excuses for not keeping their word. I was concerned with the fact that their word had been broken. I found myself making them wrong. I was even sneakier than that. I devalued them and still loved them, but less. I justified this righteous behavior of mine and had no room for their growth and development gap.

So were they safe with me? In fact, no. Did I feel safe with them? No.

Then I began studying Tantra. This Eastern philosophy encourages you to embrace it all, the right and the wrong, the light and the dark. I learned to embrace other's darkness (breaking of word) and my darkness (making them wrong). When this embrace empowered me to come out of the darkness, all of a sudden, I developed a lot of room for it all. I stopped taking it personally when a word was broken. I stopped being attached to outcomes. I became more appreciative of the process of transformation and just what it takes for people to keep their word, other people.

Inside of Tantra, I also became familiar with a powerful process called Latihan.

Latihan is a deep meditation where you go inside and then move following inner guidance. Some people call this authentic movement. During one Latihan session, I met my life's purpose staring me right in the eye. I began to listen to my inner voice rather than being distracted by what was "right" or "wrong" with the outer world.

I have been using this practice for 8 years. It has altered my life and altered my relationship to integrity and word. Now I follow inner guidance inside of my life's purpose when I commit to do something. Usually by the time the event comes about, I still want to do it. I am not merely toughing it out by keeping my word to anything and everything. I am keeping my word to something I have clearly chosen out of my deep commitment to what I am committed to in life. I have given up needing to have people count on me above all else and trying to make them feel safe. I have stopped making them wrong and myself right if things change. I focus on myself, my intentions and the messages I get from within. It is easy to keep my word and be with people exactly where they are. There is no more resentment.

At the end of the day, my word is in alignment with my life's purpose. And when I give it, it is a measure of the commitments that guide my life. Now it really does add up to my integrity, my truth. The bonus is that I'm experiencing many more people these days keeping their word. Something major has shifted in my life.



How to do Latihan:
You stand in a room with eyes closed. Playing on the stereo is ethereal music no lyrics.

The practice starts out by you picturing yourself standing at the edge of a cliff. You are strapped into a harness that is attached to a zip line. The zip line is stretched across a void. In other words, in your mind's eye, if you look down, you see only darkness, nothing - the void. In the meditation, you let go of your foothold and swing out over the void. You hang there attached to the zip line.

Then you reach up and push a red button that unfastens the clasp holding you connected to the zip line. Essentially, you let go and fall into the unknown.

Once you feel yourself falling, you begin to move only when movement moves you. This is not about prescribed movements, postures, dance steps or even asanas. It is simply to notice the impulse to move and then feel your way into the next movement.

Practice this for 10 - 15 minutes at first. Then move to a half hour.
Gradually build up to an hour at least once a week.

Copyright Butterfly Workshops, Inc. 2005

It's all good!

I am back in the States and I am whole and fine. As a matter of fact it's even better than that!

England was so good for me. Who would have thought? England - duh! Really it was. The benefits just keep growing exponentially. In am thrilled.

Here are a few of the outcomes from this last trip:

• My father and I are at a truce. So far it has lasted five days. Very good.
• I have been invited back for a December Tantra Festival in Dartmouth to present alongside the UK's leading Tantra teachers (Michele Wortman will accompany me and do her magical Moola- Ajna atunement).
• I came across a funny article written about our documentary in a UK online magazine. Click this link to go there http://www.channel4.com/4talent/feature.jsp?id=2026
• I have finally been approved to lead a series of "Active Meditations" to the stuffy Fire Island crowd (I know it's hard to believe that people here are stuffy, but when you make tons of money I guess you get more conservative - I don't know; I am just happy to finally be able to offer some of what I do here where I live. It's a form of giving back.)
• My book Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy (as well as my CD; Shamanic Release & Latihan and my DVD: Bliss Beginner's Tantra) will be carried at Mysteries, London's most exclusive store for New Age and Holistic information located in Covent Garden.

What can I say? I am happy. I am getting rest from the crazy pace I have kept since January 5th and I am feeling more prosperous and prolific than ever. Watch out world!

And I can hardly wait to go back to India. Want to come? Contact me right away.

My Book: Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy is out!

I am in West Palm Beach - just did two trade shows over the last two weekends and I'm about to do a Bliss course here this Saturday (in case you know anyone who would like to do it). This past weekend my book finally arrived from my publishers in India. I got 50 advance copies and the others are on the way to New York. Should be arriving first week of May. Yee ha!!!

My point is that Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy is here in my hand! I am so happy about it I cannot tell you. My life long dream to write a book is fulfilled now as I write.

This weekend at the WPB Body, Mind, Spirit Expo I felt people looked at me differently when they saw the book and then they saw me. Someone told me this would happen, but I did not know how it would feel and it felt slightly different. Books make people instant experts. I could feel it. I am no longer simply a Tantra teacher. I am now an expert. It feels tangible. Of course Michele, my colleague, made it particularly clear to people who visited the booth that this
was THE book and then this was me standing right here where they could touch me - THE author.

I learned a lot in the process both about writing, about trusting, about working with others who say one thing and have a completely different understanding of what needs to be done and then keeping their word or not. In the end of each segment along the way, I had to let go, surrender totally.

I know what to do differently for the next printing and with the next book and I'm sure I'll still learn some things when all is said and done. And surrender is the main lesson.

Isn't that just the cosmic joke over and over again? Surrender is the main lesson. Breathe and squeeze. Oooo and Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

In the advance order I think I mentioned there were fifty books. They are gone now:-) I sold a lot of them at the show and the rest are in the mail going to those people who advance ordered the book over the last year. What a feeling of accomplishment.

FYI you can order the book online at my website www.butterflyworkshops.com. You have the choice of getting the actual book for $19.99 plus S & H or ordering it as an eBook for $14.99.
Hopefully the two versions will serve everyone's tastes. And I ask you to let others know that they can get a hold of it too.

I plan to have a third option which is a combination of the book and the Shamanic Release & Latihan CD as a package for $35 plus S & H as well. They go hand in hand. In the book I talk a lot about Emotional Release and the CD is the tool I created to help you do it.

I recently had the expereince of doing emotional release to my own CD and it was amazing so I will write about it in the next post.

All I can say is that I am thrilled beyond words and looking forward to your feedback about the book.

If you have leads for book signing places and independent bookstores please feel free to follow up with me about that now. I am ready to take this book to Oprah and to the world.

With so much love & gratitude,
L