Ch-ch-ch-changes! India? Scottsdale?
I have just completed 13 days of a cleanse (see my last post). I feel as clear as the Caribbean. I am incredibly thrilled to have completed this challenge and I am reaping the benefits. I feel so light and free and when I look in the mirror I have my 1997 body back. Yeah Baby! What a reward!
So, in light of this clarity, I find I am confronted with an interesting change of mind/heart/plans. As you know I have been traveling to India for the past few years now, actually considering moving there, looking for the perfect spot, home for my soul.
What you should know is that there is something calling me even bigger than India now and I have lost some interest in continuing to roam around India looking for some type of spiritual cosmic divine intervention having to do with the divine feminine or something "je ne sais crois". Basically, I have had a radical shift.
Don't get me wrong - I adore India! And I still plan to have some permanent tie there like an apartment or a business that keeps me going there - not only because I love it, but also because it is arising as a superpower along with China and I want to be a part of it. I want to have somewhere on earth where I feel I am part of something rising rather than something deteriorating if that is even possible or maybe just a place to call home when all the shit hits the fan in this country.
But the very reason I love India so much is because I feel so honored there, like nowhere I ever experienced before or at least not up until now. I feel so taken care of there by everybody. It's very nurturing to me. In saying this, I need you to know that I have a found a group of people in the States that honor me like this and I notice I feel so nurtured. And I want to explore it more so between the two I am torn. It's a wonderful predicament to have. My heart is pulled in two very different directions.
I'm not sure what I will do this year at the end of the Tantric Tour. I had planned to kick around the south maybe go to Tamil, maybe go to another ashram in Aurobindo territory. I still want to go back in the spring and go up in the mountains. But some big aching yearning longing inside me has subsided and I feel just as compelled to leave India in December and go to Scottsdale for the holidays. I can hardly believe I am writing this.
I just may go back to People Unlimited to be with the Immortals for the holiday season. I feel so taken care of with them like I can relax, but it's a relaxation from the fear of death rather than just a vacation. Consider it.
So, in light of this clarity, I find I am confronted with an interesting change of mind/heart/plans. As you know I have been traveling to India for the past few years now, actually considering moving there, looking for the perfect spot, home for my soul.
What you should know is that there is something calling me even bigger than India now and I have lost some interest in continuing to roam around India looking for some type of spiritual cosmic divine intervention having to do with the divine feminine or something "je ne sais crois". Basically, I have had a radical shift.
Don't get me wrong - I adore India! And I still plan to have some permanent tie there like an apartment or a business that keeps me going there - not only because I love it, but also because it is arising as a superpower along with China and I want to be a part of it. I want to have somewhere on earth where I feel I am part of something rising rather than something deteriorating if that is even possible or maybe just a place to call home when all the shit hits the fan in this country.
But the very reason I love India so much is because I feel so honored there, like nowhere I ever experienced before or at least not up until now. I feel so taken care of there by everybody. It's very nurturing to me. In saying this, I need you to know that I have a found a group of people in the States that honor me like this and I notice I feel so nurtured. And I want to explore it more so between the two I am torn. It's a wonderful predicament to have. My heart is pulled in two very different directions.
I'm not sure what I will do this year at the end of the Tantric Tour. I had planned to kick around the south maybe go to Tamil, maybe go to another ashram in Aurobindo territory. I still want to go back in the spring and go up in the mountains. But some big aching yearning longing inside me has subsided and I feel just as compelled to leave India in December and go to Scottsdale for the holidays. I can hardly believe I am writing this.
I just may go back to People Unlimited to be with the Immortals for the holiday season. I feel so taken care of with them like I can relax, but it's a relaxation from the fear of death rather than just a vacation. Consider it.
posted by Latihan at 9:55 PM
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