Crazy Money Stuff

Recently a student and friend of mine who is a financial planner wrote me a confrontational email. The message was basically that he was angry because I was out of integrity with him. I had not called him back when I said I would on numerous occasions.

I immediately picked up the phone to call him. I apologized for being out of integrity with him and said I had no reasons or excuses, wouldn't even offer one, just sorry for being rude and abusing his time.

In the moment, he was happy to hear from me and glad I was apologizing and taking responsibility. Then we started to talk some more.

I admitted that I had resistance to calling him. Yes, I could see it had to do with time and working on finishing my book Sex and Happiness: The Ten Tantric Laws of Initimacy, but I saw more than that. I actually saw I have anxiety about money and talking about it. Whoa...how could this be? I'm into Tantra - having it all. While money is not my primary motivator, I sure do like it so what could be holding me back?

As we continued, I saw that my parents were very different in their approach to money and gave mixed messages. I also saw that I respected them differently and turned out to be like the one who doesn't pay too much attention to it (the one I'm currently taking care of and helping to get his finances together.) There are no mistakes. The Cosmic Joke strikes again.

I also distinguished that growing up in New York as a Jew amongst budding JAPS was not my thing. I wanted to be anything but that - no entitlement syndrome here.

I can only imagine what else I have lurking behind the concept of planning around money. God!
You'd think it was a curse.

So, I made a comitment to him that I would call as soon as the book is done (only a day away now) and that I would take some other actions he suggested to sure up my financial future in a way I have never even thought about before.

All I could think was I must finally be growing up.

Non-attachment & Invitation to a New World

This conversation is connected to my last Sacred Union Post and a little different. I actually wrote it before I wrote the last post and the feelings pre-date Mystical Sacred Union. For me, it's worth sharing.

Let's start with this as the context: We are spiritual beings having a human experience. As spiritual beings, we experience no separation because we are not locked into any particular form. So, we are all connected and one.

Then we get born into this life. We actually choose it. That's where the trouble begins.

Non-attachment is about the "human being" wanting to attach itself to "whatever" starting with the umbilical chord attached to our mothers. Then it’s the bag of skin that surrounds the being and including the personality of the being that inhabits the skin. After that, it wants to attach itself emotionally to another being. (Oh and I don't want to leave out attachment to objects like cars and other material things.)

The cosmic joke is that we are all already connected. There is no reason to force this upon another or ourselves. But we do it in an effort feel connected because we feel separation being stuck in different physical forms. It's part of what the masters call the "illusion."

Also, we humans do "attachment" to be irresponsible. We make the other responsible for our feelings and our "human" experiences. We do not want to be responsible for choosing and creating the experience for ourselves. So, we look around for someone to hang the cause of our experiences, feelings etc. on.

And we get attached to the meanings we give everything (like good and bad) and the emotions about everything (like happy and unhappy) and then we're in an either or mess.

That's pretty much the whole story for human beings.

By teaching Tantra as a way of life, I'm hoping to free people from the pain and suffering of that way of being if they want to be free. This then becomes a very difficult question because if they say they want to be free, they have to go to the unknown. There are no models around for being free - only pain and suffering. And for most people, they would rather choose the pain and suffering than go to the unknown, much too much fear of that!

So, the pattern continues on earth even in some of the most educated, quasi-enlightened beings. Just don't want to let go of attachment to "the identity" and the polarized thinking.

How do I know? I'm one of those people who have now had glimpses of another way of being. It's not a constant yet. I still slip back into wanting the familiar and the "security" of a "traditional relationship". AND I know, it's an empty prize basket, but when I'm having a typical human moment, I'm in upset and wanting what I'm wanting for appearances, for comfort, for whatever.

Luckily, I have the witness well trained now to kick in and wake me up. And there are people around me who can intervene if I'm having a particularly difficult time. They mirror to me really who I am and I stop the resistance and the suffering.

I am my beloved. I am "The Beloved". Everything is perfect right now.

So, all this to say that it doesn't mean not to have a relationship. It means have one with yourself. Then have a responsible one that you create from nothing, no previous picture, no fantasy, no fetish. Be responsible for it and to it and have a commitment freely chosen, not an attachment out of addiction.

Once you have that, you can really fly and have a Tantric union beyond your wildest dreams.

Why would you settle for anything less?

The question is and always will be - "What do you want?"

If someone in your life were "the one", they'd be glad to do anything and everything you want to do to get yourselves ready for Bliss and Ecstasy and beyond. If they're not, then why fool yourself?

It's actually a very non-emotional thing to look at. Is he/she or isn't he/she? If he/she's the one, invite them into your world. If not, just have sex or not, but don't make it into what it isn't in your mind. Don't play tricks on yourself by forming an attachment. It's then just another lesson of the same variety of lessons we all keep going through until we don't.

See where I'm going with this?