Shop Till You Drop - A Meditation

Well, I may not have that much to say about Buenos Aires.

Maybe I expected more. Maybe it´s not fair because I just came from India and fell in love with it.

Who knows?

I know that my Tango is improving daily. The more I dance the more distinctions in dancing I get. I dance every night from 11pm to 3am or longer. Sometimes I go to two Milongas per night. Oh, yes, amçnd I drink cheap red wine. That´s all that is offered except for champagne. If it´s as cheap as the red wine, I probably would not be able to dance much after a couple glasses.

Other than Tango, there isn´t much to do here. I´m sorry, did I mention shopping? Besides Tango, there is shopping. There are excellent leather and fur stores. You can get some amazing bargains if that´s what you´re in to. Handbags, shoes, boots, leather luggage - all beautiful. There´s other stuff too, like designer clothing, but I haven´t found it yet.

And, I´m told that this is the cosmetic surgery capital of earth. I haven´t found that yet either. BUT - I would be open to taking a group of people back here who want to learn to Tango, shop and then have surgery before returning to the States. Interesting concept, no? I could find apartments for people to stay in while recovering and the whole trip could be something like 3 weeks, maybe less.

Let me know your thoughts about this.

Hasta luego,

The Tango Goddess

Tango - The Dance of Seduction and Despair

Well, we had a first Tango lesson here and that went much better than the hotel dealings. Dante, our guide, suggested he give us a two-hour lesson to determine our level of dance. We rented a studio and went there with our new Tango shoes we purchased for around $50 per pair. The shoes here are to die for!

Cheryl had never done Tango before so he spent time teaching her the basics while I refreshed myself on the fundamentals. I was so glad for this opportunity because it actually helped me get distinctions in Tango I did not have before. Duh, you know when things go clunk as they fall into place. This happened for me during our first session.

Then we rested up for our first adventure to a Milonga (a Tango dance). Typical Milongas start at around 11pm and go till 4am. That’s what they call the early Milonga. After 4am, another Milonga starts and goes until dawn. We made it to 4am and that was about all the juice we had. How I wish I knew this dance when I was 21 or even 35!

As far as I am concerned, we did very well for our first time. I danced maybe 8-10 times and Cheryl danced as well. She was starting to get the hang of it even after only one lesson.

This is why I came here, to do the Tango! It is truly a Tantric experience. It resembles a Puja in every sense of the word. Definitely worth pursuing for Tantrikas. One must be so present, it’s like watching the breath and placing the feet in perfect steps at the same time. The music tugs at your heart while you touch heart Chakras with your partner. And it’s COMPLETE SURRENDER.

Cheryl says it’s a woman’s fantasy come true. You get dressed up in a lovely dress and fabulous shoes. You look your best with make-up and hair done just right. Then you go to the dance and the men give you the eye. And when they dance with you, you have intimate contact - you get held tightly in the man’s arms (close embrace position) while he carefully and gracefully leads you around the floor making you look like you are exquisite with fancy sexy, very sexy foot movements.

Anyway, I’ll end here and pick this train of thought up later.

I must get ready for the Milonga tonight. This one starts at midnight.

Muchos besos,
Laurie

Argentina Arrival - Where's the beef?

Note to regular readers - Laurie is tangoing away in Argentina, but she can only post in Spanish! I will post all of her blogs for her! -kate



After being in Argentina for a day or so, it hit me how different it is from India! So different.

Buenos Aires is a big modern city with buildings and shops comparable to anywhere USA. It’s actually very clean and quite lovely here. More maybe even like a grand European city than anywhere in the States. And one thing for sure is there are no cows wandering around the streets. Why, because mostly they are on the plates being served in the restaurants and dining rooms of this country.

Of course, I should have known, they mostly eat beef. Whenever Cheryl (known to many of you as Rose) and I go somewhere to eat, it amazes us how they push the beef. She keeps saying, “They have all this beautiful farmland here. Why don’t they grow vegetables?” So, even though there is salad, it consists of lettuce, tomato and carrot. That’s it and not another thing to be found like broccoli for example. So, here, I just arrived back from vegetarian heaven and now I’m in the land of flesh eaters - big time. Na na na na na, na na na na, na na na, na na na.

The first day we fought with our hotel. They said we were booked only for two nights. I knew I had paid for 5 nights. Randall, back in Florida, played the hero and found my confirmation in my computer at his place so I could get them to turn around their thinking. Big hassle over nothing. Thank goodness for the information age and the internet. Instant proof.

Then we got locked in our room. They have these funny room locks here that make it difficult to get in or out unless you are used to them. We stood there calling for help both through the door and by phoning the front desk and I had to laugh. It reminded me of a scene from the I Love Lucy Show. When they finally opened the door for us, they showed us how simple it was to turn the gizmo a little more and open the door. We must have looked pretty funny to them.

Yeah, and then there was the incident about the pool. One of the reasons I selected this hotel from hotels.com is because they listed that the hotel had a pool. We figured it would be nice to chill out in the afternoons and sit by the pool in the sharp Argentinean sun. So, we went to the desk inquiring as to the whereabouts of the pool. The manager informed us that we had free breakfast and lunch everyday (all for $65 per night), but that we could only access the spa three blocks away once during our stay. I argued that I had chosen this hotel because of the pool they advertised. He kept sticking to his story about the food. Food - pool? My words about faulty advertising fell on deaf ears. At last, when we made our way over to the spa to check it out, we discovered that there is no pool, never has been. Okay, just another day in the Argentinean sun.

Funny how people have the conception that they will be ripped off and taken for granted in a place like India. Someone will overcharge them 10 rupees ($.20), but about here, I have never heard anything to that effect. Yet, my very first experience upon arrival has to do with a bold face lie, not once, but twice - first the length of stay and then the pool! And no apology, mind you. Not even so much as a smile and offer to right the wrong.

Oh well. In a few days we move to an apartment (with a pool and a gym) for $35 per night.

Welcome to Argentina.

Back in Delhi

Well, I am here for the last day of my India trip. I will visit with my new friend Anil today and then have dinner with Shubh and David. Then I go to the airport for my flight which leaves at 12:55am. Twenty-two hours in a plane and then I will be back in the States, Florida to be exact.

So, what can I possibly say that I have not said?

I am so sad to leave here. I love it so much.

Did I tell you some of the minute details that make me love it here? I know I told you about the food. Yes, the food continues to be great. The cooking at the place I stayed in Goa was not too shabby either. What a lovely time I had there. I cried when I left Sirus and Shantana. I will definitely bring a group there.

But did I tell you the the drivers never have a negative vibe while on the roads? They honk the horn a lot to communicate with other drivers, but never a foul word is heard, not one "Fuck you!" the whole time I have been here. As a matter of fact, I've been meaning to take a photo of the back of a truck which plainly states in painted letters, "Honk please." There is a different kind of respect for others on the road and for oneself as a driver. Even though when I first went on the roads in the begiining of my trip, I was scared to death, I now have great respect for the drivers.

And the people are amazing. Their hearts are full of love radiated from their eyes. Even the poorest of people here seems happy in certain way that we (Americans - I cannot speak for the rest of those reading) do not exhibit. In the West, people are miserable for the most part. Having everything doesn't make us happy. Here, the simplest things make people smile and they do that a lot. Children fly kites from every roof on holidays and Sundays. Three people cram onto a motorcycle to get somewhere or ten cram into a motor rickshaw, all smiling and waving at me as I passed them by in any place that I visited.

As I passed the children of Goa, they came running out of their houses to say, "Hello." And as I passed the buffalo grazing the field I had to cut through on my way to the beach each morning, I would say, "Hello," to them. One of them would look up from the grass and wave the ears back and forth for me.

Perhaps for me, the most important thing is this. It is absolutely safe here for a woman to travel on her own. There was never a glance of raw sex objectivication from anyone here as I made my way along the adventure. It was very different to come to experience this fully. When I felt that type of fear (like walking in front of a construction site anywhere USA), I came to realize that is my fear which I embody from my culture and it comes with me in the psyche. It doesn't exist here. People just look out of curiousity rather than staring at tits and ass. It really took something for me to see this. But I did finally see it while sunbathing on the beach by myself in Goa. I had on a suit, but many women around me had on very little. Never a side glance did they get from any number of men walking by. Very freeing feeling.

I have limited time now, but I'm sure I will write more in the days to come. I must pack. Ugh.

Much love,
Laurie

Goa is Absolutely Beautiful

It was not originally in my plan to visit Goa, but I am so glad I did. Amit, my guide for most of India insisted that I take the time away from the Ashram and Delhi and spend a week in Goa. What a great suggestion. So glad I did.

Now, for most people, Goa is a big party capital of the earth. It's known for trance dance parties on the beaches that last all night with every kind of drug and any other concoction you can imagine like Ibisa. Many of the popular beaches here like Anjuna, Callengute, Baga, Aranbole have little shops and restaurants all playing Bob Marley music and displaying the flag of Jamaica - and you know what that means - ganga!

You know that's not really my scene, but since I have been here, I've actually had some decent local wine and local beer. What a treat after a dry month. The tourists here are mostly Russian, Israeli, British and then there are very many Indians here too. Lots of tattoos, piercings and dredlocks all around. And absolute nudity on the beach is permitted in some areas or topless. All this after experiencing the total coverd-up-ness of the women everywhere else in this country.
The Portuguese introduced Catholicism to this part of the country and all of a sudden, the concept of Sin arrived (by the way it's the name of a bar here). So, people play it out to endth degree - churches, crosses and anything goes. No so in the rest of India.

The restaurants are excellent and many are right on the beach. It's a full moon now so I cannot tell you how beautiful it is to dine on the beach here and just check out the ocean, very unspoiled (at least in the part where I am - Morjim.) Yes, I am staying in much quieter area than those I mentioned and of that, I am glad. Most of my life, I never missed a party and now I could care less.

I motorcycled (that's right Marilyn!) around these spots yesterday with a friend, met Amit for lunch and quite, frankly, I was glad to get back to my hotel with it's excellent home cooking and it's peace and quiet.

The great part about yesterday was that my hotel hosts (who I mentioned are Osho Sannayasans) took me to their new house they have just finished building to check it out for a possible workshop site and, yes, my friends, it passes my test. What a fantastic place to hold a retreat here in India! They have a great hall for doing courses, a sound studio and various sleeping arrangements for any taste and pocketbook. Plus, they are right next door to a beautiful yoga retreat where people can go for early morning classes before we get started with our various acitivites.

And then of course, there's the fantastic almost deserted beach for a swim or a stroll before or after the coursework, anytime.

So, it seems fairly certain that I will bring a tour of people back here with me to expereince India and then I will hold something in the way of Bliss/Ecstasy combination here in Goa for maybe ten days. This is definitely the place to be for that.

I will be returning to the States in a few days and all I know is that I will be leaving a big piece of my heart here in India. And in exchange, India will be in my heart forever. I will return as soon as possible and I will return over and over again. As I write this, tears are streamimg down my face. I feel I have found a home in the hearts of these people and in the magnificence of this vast country. I have melted into Mother India just as she has embedded herself in me.

I am permanently altered as a person and I sense it will make a huge difference in anything to come from me in the future especially as a teacher and a writer, etc. I am returning in a whole new paradigm.

Stay tuned, of course, to the next chapter - Argentina. That will be happening in a just a few weeks. I will continue to blog and share about the Tantric dance - Tango.

Love to you all,
Laurie

Now I Know I Am Crazy - Bus to Goa - Oy My God!

I left Pune yesterday after saying "goodbye" to friends, purchasing some Whirling music and geting a manicure/pedicure. I was all excited to board my sleeper compartment bus for Goa, an overnight journey.

I purchased a ticket for a double compartment so nobody else could be near me (as I understand sometimes happens) and went off to catch the bus. I was shown to a dingy double matress-type arrrangement with no curtain and a 3/4 partician. No prob. I took out a bunch of sarongs and made the place more to my liking and relaxed, even dozed off for a hot second.

And then, things got exciting. I bounced around in that damn bus all night. When I say bounced, I mean literally bounced like a rubber ball, only it was my body. I've experienced whiplash before from getting hit by a car, but this was up and down hitting bumps in the road.

I covered myself up in a white shawl, must have looked like a freakish shite muslim in white rather than black. I did not want to attract attention to myself because in the bus I was surrounded by men and there was this light in my bin shining on me the blonde westerner. Luckily, I knew the two Brits who were in the bin above me in case I needed help. And then I finally got the bus man to disassemble the wires so the light advertising me went out.

Needless to say, I was way out of my comfort zone. The bus was supposed to stop twice during the night, but did not so I could hardly wait to arrive in Goa to use a toilet. This means I could hardly wait to arrive at the appointed time of 6:30am when my friend Amit was picking me up. Oops. Imagine in a third world country like India arriving early!!! That's right, we arrived at 5am! That meant I was being dropped off in the pitch dark in a strange city and I had 1 & 1/2 hours to wait until I would be picked up.

What to do?

I really had to pee, but I had all this luggage to haul and I only could see one thing to do - go over to the tea stand that was the only thing open at the end of the block, order chi, sit down and wait. Act like I do this every day no matter that the only people around were something like 25 men and it was pitch black except for the little tea place.

So, that's what I did. I calmly sat down. People asked me if I needed a taxi or a rickshaw and I said, "No, thank you." A few Brits from another bus came by and we chatted it up for a 1/2 hour or so, but when they left, there I was - "I and I," as Bob Marley would say. And wait I did.

At 6:30 on the spot, Amit arrived. I paid the bill and went to pee while he took care of my belongings. We junmped in the car he had hired to bring me to my hotel and drove through this beautiful once Portuguese colony as the sun came up.

All I can say is, "Wow." This Tantra stuff really works. Being calm works better than any toughness I ever exhibited in the past. I just chilled and everything was fine all night long in two very dodgy situations. Very good test.

Amit dropped me at this lovely place run by two Sannayasans (from Osho). They are a lovely couple. She is from Switzerland. He is from Iran. They have been here for 30 years. Again the perfect thing has happened. I am with delightful people who are on my energy wave and oh, did I tell you that he is a musician and makes guess what type of music? Sufi Whirling music! Need I say more?

I imagine I will have a fantastic time in this beach paradise. Of course, that's after I get some sleep :-)

Namaskar Beloveds,
Laurie

India, the Ultimate Dieter's Paradise

I know I have mentioned that I have had very little to drink in terms of alcoholic beverages while here in India. I have failed to mention that I have also had no Cokes, very little bread (just some of those thin Indian ones of various names), no carbos to speak of, no chips, candy, anything that vaguely resembles American eating. I mean I do not eat like most people anyway, but this is really beyond the beyond.

So the other night I put on my jeans that fit me very snuggly when I left the States. As a matter of fact, before I left, I had been feeling somewhat plump.
Well, they are so loose that they come off without me opening the zipper and the buttons. They just come right on down. Yeah baby!

I look great and I feel great. Aside from "Delhi Belly" as it is called here instead of Montezuma's Revenge, that I had in the beginning of my trip, I have not noticed any hardship in eating. I have eaten wholesome and well-prepared foods here and it has paid off.

They say the newest industry developing here is called "Medical Tourism" comprised of people coming here at the expense of their insurance companies being put up in hotels or hospitals to get the finest treatments from Indian doctors. So, I have this idea about "Dieting Tourism." Maybe we could go to the south of India to the Ayervedic clinics for a week or two - get massaged, eat clean, get into the swing of India - then come here to the ashram or go to Kajuraho for the Tantric Temples. Just an idea. Let me know what you think.

I stopped and bought a lot of whirling music today from a lovely Kashmiri man and now I am on my way to Goa in a few hours. Really looking forward to the change.

I will write when I next am able.

Hope you are all well.

Love,
Laurie

Thoughts on the Ashram and Pune in General

"The Ashram compared to what?" I ask myself. Previous experiences, other places, different times, workshops, intensives, times of surrender.

Well here goes:

1) There is a definite "in crowd" and the rest is an "out crowd."
2) People walk as if with blinders on - no eye contact or saying "Hello" unless they know you. I think to myself, "Maybe this is what it is when the masks are off, no need to be cordial. Who knows?" And occassionally I am suprised by someone who smiles at me and greets me. This has happened a few times in a little over a week since I arrived, but in general, I am a person who greets everyone on the street and I find this strange. Also, given that it is in India where everywhere else I have visited, people jumped out of the woodwork to say "Hello."
3) While the costumes are absolutely beautiful and with the robes on, people look like gods and goddesses, it is a bit cultish to dress the same as everyone else. Plus people individualize their "get ups" anyway. There is something to be said for dressing all in maroon and then in white for the evening meeting, More will come to me about this. When it does, I will write more about it.
4) The ashram is very expensive for entrance and for food although, for the daily entrance fee, you have many mnay choices of what to participate in from 6am to 2am. Some people I have met (old time Sannaysans) call it the CASHram. There are great deals on Osho's books. You can purchase them at cost. Everything else is somewhat overpriced. I have found outside the ashram alternatives for food, massage and even internet as I mentioned in previous posts. I did buy $100 worth of books.
5) Pune is is affected positively and negatively by the influx of multinationals. It feels very different than the rest of India. Aside from its smog (which is awful), it has a distinctly different vibe. While it feels comfortable to walk around here, actually more comfortable to walk and be alone since so many here are doing that. The Indians who greet me feel inauthentic like they want something from me either money or sex. And then it also feels a lot like Puerto Morelos, in Mexico with its nice little cafes and shops within walking distance. And there are so mnay expats here from so many countries, it resembles Puerto so much in that way. Lots of English is spoken as well as Hebrew, Italian, Danish, Dutch - very international. And there is common ground - Osho - which enables one to communicate if one wants to break through the shell of non-connection. I have actually met a lot of great people in the internet cafe.

So, I have very mixed feelings about this place both the city and the ashram. I keep reminding myself that I came here to be with myself, to meet myself in a whole new way and that I have. I most certainly have. So, I guess I had different expectations about the ashram. And in my life expectations have often led to suffering. I am not suffering at the present time, but I have shifted into a different space here than I had before I came. Noticing old stuff coming up for examination through the "witness". And finding my way slowly.

One thing I am taking away with me for sure is fantastic meditation techniques and whirling from now on as much as possible. I bought a Sufi skirt that is a complete circle and when I spin it goes straight out around me from centrifugal force. I plan to spin at low tide next to the ocean on Fire Island when I return to NY. I really can picture that.

Another thing you should know as you read this report is that I will come back here to Pune and the ashram for sure. I already know this in my heart. There is something to be gotten about chilling and dancing over and over again in one's life that nurtures the soul here if nothing else. And it is truly an international community, a world community. I don't know anywhere else like that. More and more I notice I am becoming global rather than needing to be in one place. And so there is something here very attractive to me for the long haul. Yet, I will do it very differntly. I will find an inexpensive apartment to share and stay further away from the ashram and then only come in for the meditations and dancing.

Anyway, tomorrow I leave here for Goa, the last side trip on my journey. I will spend five days in a hut on the beach there and then return to Shubh and David's home in Delhi for one night before departing for home. I return to the States on the 19th.

Of course, then I will begin the blog anew from Buenos Aires, Argentina after a few days in Florida.

I am definitely crystalizing a trip here with you in November. I will be meeting with my travel agent in Goa and we'll discuss the possibilities. So far three people have expressed interest.

Much love to you.
Namaskar,
Laurie

Made Some Friends

So, I realize that slowly, I have made some friends here. It feels good to not be so totally alone. Osho talks about being alone versus being lonely. He says lonliness is manufactured by our cultures to manipulate us.

I spent some time hanging out and laughing and even drinking wine! with a few folks and skipped a couple meditations. It's all a meditation anyway. And I'm having it all.

Then I went to a Nataraj Meditation. You'll love this one. You dance for 40 minutes to incredible music and then you lie down for 20 minutes. And then you get up and dance again for another 5 minutes at the end to clamer music. Cool, no? I loved this one. Oh, did I mention that the dance was eyes closed or blindfolded? I did every dance I ever learned and then some. At some point I turned it all over to free form and let the body create. Just fantastic.

The DJ here has made me a great dance CD as well. They play a really groovey funk, disco, reggae here when you attend the dancing in between everything else. I am dancing as much as my heart calls for and that's a lot. I haven't danced this much since I was a teenager or in college. And you know that I do dance a lot with Salsa and now Tango lessons. But this is something else all together. It's a lightness of being that brings about dance and then the opportunity presents itself almost always to dance since there is always music playing somewhere and people dancing.

For days I have been watching this one woman dance and dance. I first spotted her in the Buddha Grove spinning and turning just with herself. Then I saw her again the first day I did Whirling Meditation and now I see that she is everywhere where there is dancing. Today, after the dance groove at around noon, I sat down to write in my journal and watched her instead. She just danced and danced even after the music was over, spinning around and around, sometimes eyes open, sometimes closed, even balancing a bottle of water on her head. She has a techniques of incorporating spinning with some kind of devotional dance she makes up as she goes. Then she even got her lunch which seemed to be cut fruit and kept dancing while eating. In our world, we would probably think that she is slightly mad, but as I watched I saw that she is in ecstasy at all times. This has truly inspired me.

Like I ask myself, what if in my courses we had big dancing breaks incorporated into every section of the course?

Really I am having such a time with myself. It was just what I needed. I had no idea how much. I cannot wait to share with you all that I have learned in terms of our work. Oh my god!

And I feel as though I never want to leave here.

Here's another thing that happened for me today. I was spinning outside and the facilitator put on a Hebrew song. As I was spinning, tears were streaming out of my eyes. At the end of the song, I laid down flat on the white marble floor facing down and I cried and cried. It felt so good to cry for being a Jew. It was so good for me. Of course I will buy this song to see what it does for some of you.

So, that's my "up to the moment" space. It just keeps getting better and better.

I know I promised to write to you about the culture here in the ashram, but I'm putting it off because my impressions change every day. I'll do it soon before I leave here.

Much love,
Laurie

Forgot Something about Osho's discourse

I meant to tell you that yesterday, he also talked about sex in terms of "penetration" and he said that usually we think about penetrating another or being penetrated by another. But, he went on to say that if we are enlightened, we penetrate ourselves. Our own masculine penetrates our own feminine. Then we are free from desire to penetrate another. Interesting way to put it, eh?

Osho on Being a Buddha

Today the discourse was on Being a Buddha. What does that mean?

It means distinguishing between knowledge and knowing. Knowledge is storing up information in the intellect. Knowing is coming from a deep place within that comes from experience in life and actually using the head.

He said the only way to become a Buddha (an enlightened one) is to go into your fear rather than avoid it. He said enlightened beings use courage and risk going to that which most people would avoid in life. He said, "When you go into your fear, you find love. When you go into your anger, you find compassion. When you go into your sex, you find samadhi (enlightenment)."

He went on to discuss that hell is here on earth in us. The only way there can be heaven on earth is to go into that which we avoid and by so doing become peaceful.

I am mentioning this to you as I write today because I want to acknowledge those of you who have come with me along this Tantric path and faced all those things. You have trusted the processes over and over again and faced your fear, your anger, your sexuality, your pain, your suffering, your craziness - everything. You've done Dynamic Meditation, Emotional Release, Latihan, Bodyhan, Tantrahan, Kalihan, Tibetan Rebirthing, Puja, Yogaboxing and danced till you dropped. I acknowledge you for going there. I know we are bringing heaven to earth.

How I know is because right now I am in heaven.

We are all becoming Buddhas.

Namaste,
Laurie

Nadabrahma Meditation

Yesterday, I went to Nadabrahma Meditation. It was great. For all of you who have participated in the beginner's Tantra & Bliss course, this is the meditation we do when we start continuously humming loud enough for others to hear with our eyes closed. It happens very early in the course when we do the frist breath medley after "finding the empty space" and mirror dancing.

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find that this one had a little more to it. We hummed for 30 minutes. It was amazing to be in this huge space amidst many others humming away. Then the next stage is two parts. For ten minutes you move your hands palms up in a circular motion going out from you like giving as slowly as possible. Then for the next ten minutes, you move the hands palms facing down in a circular motion towards you like receiving in as slowly as possible.

While I have done this part of the exercise before (I actually did it partnered with Michael Sussman at a Bliss course in Philly), this was different because it was just me and the air. And I found it very difficult to make the hands gestures as slowly as possible. But by the end of the exercise I had accomplished SLOW.

And I felt so great! I was so "blissed out" when I left the auditorium, I did not even see a friend who was waving to me and walking right in my path.

If you are interested in this meditation, all you have to do is hum. And if you happen to have Dr. Judy's book, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric Sex, go to the part about Carla Tarantola. There are photos of what she calls "partner yoga" there. In a few of them, you can see the hand movements I am talking about although here she is also showing how to do it with a partner (like I did with Michael). It is completely a different experiecne to do it by yourself and really move slowly.

Don't worry, we'll be doing more of this too when I get home.

Love,
Laurie

Splendor in the Auditorium

This morning I went to the Osho Discourse which happens every day from 8-9am. It's a taped program of something Osho has discussed. Many of you have heard some of Osho's tapes as many of you have heard Werner's tapes. Same kind of thing. He discussed the difference between the innocense that people attribute to infants being distinct from the innocense that people attribute to Buddhas. In babies, he explains, it is not enlightenment, rather it is innocense with no experience, just open being. The reason the Buddha can be said to be enlightened is because he went from a state of innocense to the darkness in the world from booze to sex to drugs to whatever and then went back to a state of innocense - enlightenment. So, he described it as an infant being a silver lining and a Buddha being a silver lining inside a dark cloud. I liked it.

There was also a great joke in this discourse about priests, but I will save it for Jennifer Blaine (in Philly) and then she can give it as part of her comedy bit somewhere. It's a real good one! Osho was known for his great humor.

When the discourse was over, the next activity was Whirling Meditation as in spinning. (You remember that from Ecstasy.) This was a totally different experience than I have ever had with spinning. Imagine a dark marble floor very shiny inside a pyramid (4-sided) with recessed lighting. Picture 50 people dressed in various shades of red robes spinning for 45 minutes.

Some spin slowly, others fast. Some spin with their arms up, others with their arms down, some with their arms crossed over their hearts, still others spin like ice skaters spinning on ice.

I went for it. I spun for the first song - great music. I felt like I was flying in the air. I lost myself a few times and then came back. I think the point is getting lost. This was better than ever I have expereinced it before.

At the end of the first song, I bowed and sat down to watch. People's robes were billowed out and all looked beautiful. There were special big skirts that I saw on some men and some women specifically made for spinning. These looked the size of umbrellas and seemed to soar over the air. All in all, people seemed to be floating through time and space. Majestic is the best word I can come up with to try to describe the beauty. It looked like a garden of red spinning tulips.

And then I noticed the reflctions on the marble floor. Now the whole scene took on another quality

All I can say is it was as powerful to watch as it was to do. It was very moving. Not only will I do more spinning while I am here, I will do it when I return as one of my regular practices and I will incorporate it into the workshops even more than we have. No more spinning back-to-back. Everyone will be on their own and will really get into it. I have a whole new appreciation and understanding.

By the way, in the last 15 minutes of the hour, people either fall down to the ground or they sit down and remain silent in whatever position they have landed.

Go for it. Try spinning today. You won't be sorry.

Love,
Laurie

Wasn't Meant to Be

Yesterday, I created a long post for this blog and just as I was almost done, the power went out here. Welcome to my Indian world! Oh well. It just wasn't mean to be. So much has happened since, where to begin?

I'll give most of what I tried to convey yesterday and then see where I'm at. It's worth sharing. Here goes:

I thought I would get up in time to attend Osho's Dynamic Meditation (done everyday from 6-7 am). Not. When my alarm went off, I felt that I had only slept an hour still recovering from the cold. By the way, I never did make it to Latino Zen, so I'm just gonna make up what it was all about. Maybe I'll create one at the next TranscenDance we do in the DC area March 30th. A little salsa, a little tango, a litle merengue, a little meditation in between - Bailar OM!

Well, then when I woke up around 8am, I thought, okay, I'll do some housekeeping things. So, I went to open a safe deposit box in which to put my passport, my money, plane tix etc. Well first I went to the bank at the ashram. I wanted to get out approximately $600 hopefully to last me the rest of my stay in India. The bank only had denominations of 100 R's. So, when I walked out of there, I looked like Bonnie of Bonnie and Clyde! I could have filled part of a suitcase. Then I found out the safe deposit boxes are these little pouch/portfolio type things with a string that wraps around a button. This cracked me up. How could I possibly fit everything in there that I needed to put in? So, I went back to the bank and begged for bigger bills. I put in as much as the pouch would hold. My friend Hetta from Denmark attempted to put all her belongs in since the only things she had were her important papers. Her luggage has been missing since she arrived in India a few days ago. needless to say all her worldly things did not fit!

This reminds me of the first time we did an Ecstasy course in Puerto Morelos, Mexico at Rancho Libertad. The owner only wanted to be paid in American cash. Try 25 people staying for one week or more to the tune of American bills. She (Ginny) said, "Don't worry, you can put ALL that cash in our safe deposit box." Again I felt like I had robbed a bank. And, yes, there was a box in the front office that had a key and a combination, but the whole thing could have been carried away on foot by anyone walking. I imagine it floated or blew away in the recent Katrina devastation of Cancun. Glad my money wasn't in there.

Okay, back to India. After the housekeeping, I decided to go to Vipassana Mediation. The facilitator said that we were to sit closed eyed for 45 minutes and then open eyes and sit quietly, no coughing or sneezing or sniffling. She said if we have to make any movement, make it with awareness. I figured I was better by this time so I went for it. After 25 minutes, a cough came into my throat. Where it came from, who knows? I tried to stiffle it by touching my throat. Then it swelled into my nose. Now I didn't know if I was going to cough or sneeze. I held my nose. Tears began to stream down my face as I held my hands to my throat and my nose and tried to keep from making a sound. Then my body began spontaneously shaking out of control (You know the "Shakti Wave" that we teach at Initiation!) and the kundalini was just rising on up. I must have looked very funny. And then I coughed and sniffled and teared beyond any semblance of control. I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE AUDITORIUM!

It's a good thing this isn't school because we could say I flunked the first course.

Feeling amused and a little ruffled (like I'm the only one they've ever kicked out), I walked over to what's called Buddha Grove and saw people doing dancing meditation so I jumped up there and let it all hang out. It's a free wheeling dance party that happens three times a day in between everything else with great world music, fabulous beats and plenty of room to really rock. There are no partners - just a lot of great dancers moving through space (all dressed in maroon, red, magenta, wine, cranberry - very beautiful). In another blog, I'll comment about the whole dress code and other stuff here.

After lunch, I decided to try Osho's Kundalini Meditation. I lucked out here. You can make noise. So, it resembles the "wave". You stand and wave with eyes closed for 15 minutes to music. (I don't think Harvey Shugarman is reading this blog, but if he was, he'd know that this meditation is for him! If anyone has his current email, please pass this along that I was mentioning him and thinking of him.) Then the second 15 minutes is dancing full out in place. Then next 15 minutes is a choice to either stand or sit quietly eyes closed to music. The final 15 minutes is to sit in absolute quiet with no music.

Yeah, I made it through that whole experience without a cough or sniffle. Plus I was pretty much in the witness the whole time; not a lot of mind chatter. It felt very good to me.

Then I went for my facial that I mentioned earlier, had a bite to eat and went back to my room for the night determined to rest enough to make it through more exercises today.

And so it goes. I'll try to get the next installment on here later this evening. If not, tomorrow morning for sure. I had the most amazing experience already today with spinning.

Much love to you all,
Laurie

P.S. One person has already communicated being interested in coming back here with me. Yeah baby! I will take ten people only. So, if you're even thinking about it let me know. This is a definite thing in my mind. I'll come back here with or without you, but with you would really be fun!

P.P.S. Many of you have written separate emails to me commenting about your experiences reading this. Unless you have something very private to say, it's completely alright to write a comment right here. Just wanted you to know. If you comment, others might comment back to you and then we can have a lively conversation if you like. Also, please feel free to send this blog to others you know who may not know me, but would be interested in taking a Tantra course from me or finding out about my travels in India. Kate posted about this blog on a few Tantra websites and egroups and some people from those groups whom I don't know have posted and written to me. This is a great world filled with so many possibilities. Let's share, okay?

Easing into the Ashram

Today I went for my welcome orientation. It was a tour and a sampling of the major meditation techniques offered here. I am easing into it (mostly because I have had this really bad cold). The techniques used here are very similar to what we do in Butterfly Tantra especially in Ecstasy, but with even more depth. Please, I had so many ideas running through my head today, and then I let them all go so I could be present and get what I needed. Later, I will have a field day designing the next set of courses.

They told me I could not go into the main evening meditation tonight because it's done in absolute silence - not even a sniffle or a cough is aloud. If you have a cold, you have to go to another meeting hall with the people who smoke. No thanks. I'll start that eveing meditation tomorrow when the cold is almost all behind me.

The people here are quite incredible not as flaky as I imagine they used to be in the beginning of the ashram - more dropouts and flakes. Now many high power spiritual people coming to transform and grow spiritually. I apologize if I offend anyone by saying this, but that was my impression in the 70's when I thought I knew everything :-)

I was with my orientation group for three hours. Then after lunch I shopped for the clothes one has to wear here (maroon robes for day and white for night) and then got my nails done ($2 for toes and fingers - not French, but hey). Tomorrow after meditations in the morning, I'm coming back for a facial for $8. Then on Wednesday, I'm changing my room and then coming back for a 90 minute massage ($18). Of course, I found this place outside the ashram. In the ashram massage is $60. I figured I'm in India. There must be some better options.

I plan to do at least one of my days here in silence. Maybe more. On those days, you will not hear from me. I will keep the silence and the energy that I am building here to myself for my own healing and recharging.

And of course, for those of you who are wondering (and I know some of you are because you told me before I left), the possible partners here that I could hook up with look yummy. If I connect with anyone good here at the ashram, I plan to go for it. It's like finding people in the same paradigm who I have not taught or even had to push to do the work. They are doing it by themselves. Plus it cost them a lot of money to get here so they are not poor. I'm sure there are some jerks here as well, but so far I haven't met any. I am getting the mirror of who I am everywhere I turn.

As for photos, I cannot work the technology. For 5 photos it takes sopmething like 30 minutes to download in the cafe. I don't really want to spend that kind of time. I now have many many photos. So, when I arrive back in the States, I will try to get that done before leaving for Argentina. If not, then early Feb.

I am losing weight which is a good thing. I have no idea how much, but it's more from reaction to a lot of Indian food - I love it so much, but my stomach doesn't like it all the time, only. So, I eat light and haven't been drinking at all - that will do it. There is almost no booze in this country!!!

Okay, gotta run. I am going to a Latino Zen meditation dance tonight. God only knows. Salsa? Tango? Merengue? Dynamic? Spinning to Salsa? Emotional clearing to Salsa? Your guess is as good as mine.

Those of you who have written emails, text messaged my cell phone and commented on this blog, thank you. You have no idea how wonderful it feels for me to be connected to you.

Many blessings,
Laurie

Finally made it to Pune

I arrived in Pune on the 30th of December, but I have been so sick, I barely left my room. Luckily I was staying at a very fancy hotel so they took really good care of me including letting me use their office for internet yesterday for free. I stayed in bed for two days. That's right. I spent New Year's Eve in my bed solitary. No problem. I figured I really did not come to India to find a big party. That was easy enough. I could have partied, but I spent the time recovering from a 24 hour bug. The only time I came out of my room was to be in communication with you.

Anyway, today I moved next to the Osho Ashram. I went over there to register, but they close down for lunch time. India does that often. So, I found my way to the famous German Bakery and then found this internet cafe. I will return to the ashram for my aids test and my welcome and to buy my maroon robes shortly.

By the way, I caught the Times Square Ball going down this morning on TV. It made me feel like I was bilocated. India is 10 hours ahead so it really was live while I watched.

I will continue to keep you posted about my experiences at the ashram as they unfold.

Much love & success in the new year,
Laurie