Crazy Money Stuff

Recently a student and friend of mine who is a financial planner wrote me a confrontational email. The message was basically that he was angry because I was out of integrity with him. I had not called him back when I said I would on numerous occasions.

I immediately picked up the phone to call him. I apologized for being out of integrity with him and said I had no reasons or excuses, wouldn't even offer one, just sorry for being rude and abusing his time.

In the moment, he was happy to hear from me and glad I was apologizing and taking responsibility. Then we started to talk some more.

I admitted that I had resistance to calling him. Yes, I could see it had to do with time and working on finishing my book Sex and Happiness: The Ten Tantric Laws of Initimacy, but I saw more than that. I actually saw I have anxiety about money and talking about it. Whoa...how could this be? I'm into Tantra - having it all. While money is not my primary motivator, I sure do like it so what could be holding me back?

As we continued, I saw that my parents were very different in their approach to money and gave mixed messages. I also saw that I respected them differently and turned out to be like the one who doesn't pay too much attention to it (the one I'm currently taking care of and helping to get his finances together.) There are no mistakes. The Cosmic Joke strikes again.

I also distinguished that growing up in New York as a Jew amongst budding JAPS was not my thing. I wanted to be anything but that - no entitlement syndrome here.

I can only imagine what else I have lurking behind the concept of planning around money. God!
You'd think it was a curse.

So, I made a comitment to him that I would call as soon as the book is done (only a day away now) and that I would take some other actions he suggested to sure up my financial future in a way I have never even thought about before.

All I could think was I must finally be growing up.